Anchor
by fatalxdesiresx
Summary: An anchor is someone who can pull you back, someone who has a strong connection to you...a kind of emotional tether.


**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Ugh, sorry this is so short, but I just wanted to finish this so I could move on and work on my new Owkita and Salex series and start a Teen Wolf series. So yeah.

Anyway, I really wanted more Sean and Nikita interaction on the show (am I the only one who shipped Sean and Nikita?) and so obviously I was massively disappointed (yet again) with the lack of their scenes. And I HATED how she just ignored Sean and never made him feel at home in Division, like he was part of the family and Team Nikita. I really wish the writers and producers had focused more on the friendships on the show rather than the romance. BECAUSE ROMANCE RUINS EVERYTHING.

Because of the lack of S/N scenes and since Nikita never had a little talk about Alex with him (how cute would that have been?) I came up with this fic idea a few weeks ago. I live through fics now since most shows I watch are a disappointment. Sigh.

(AND IN CASE YOU'RE WONDERNING, THE FOLLOWING PARAPHRASED QUOTE IS FROM TEEN WOLF. IT FIT WITH THIS FIC, IMO.)

* * *

**an·chor**

_someone who can pull you back..._

_someone who has a strong connection to you..._

_...a kind of emotional tether._

* * *

Everything _finally_ seemed hopeful between Sean and Alex. Sean had been tormented lately, fearing that Alex's behavior was a sign that the two of them just wouldn't work out. For a while, he thought she'd be better off without him, and after getting injured while out on a mission with Owen and Nikita – well, the thought that his death would finally set Alex free had crossed his mind. But he loved her, quite possibly more than she loved him. And as much as that bothered him sometimes, he was okay with loving her more. He didn't want to abandon her. Everyone she'd ever loved had left her, voluntarily or against their will, and he didn't want to do that to her despite feeling like she didn't want him.

Staying by her side had been the right choice. After that mission, things between them had finally been repaired and he'd realized his mistake. He knew he shouldn't have just walked out on her after telling her he loved her, but he just hadn't been able to think of another way to get that through her head. He still wanted her to leave Division, but as long as Nikita was here she wasn't going anywhere, and as much as that irritated Sean... he'd wait and keep quiet.

He hadn't spoken much with Nikita, not bothered by that fact. She was busy with Michael. The two of them, Sean and Nikita, hadn't ever really socialized that much, even before taking over Division. Most of his contact nowadays was with Alex and Michael. He was positive it was better that way. Sean was afraid that if he and Nikita ever talked, he'd just vent his frustrations and say something he'd regret. Sean Pierce was not a fan of Nikita Mears, never had been.

Just as he was thinking of Nikita, the woman herself appeared. His check-up with the doctor had just ended and he was cleared for duty again, thankfully. He hated to be stuck inside. Not being able to do anything was getting to him. When he heard the tap of high heels, he looked up to see Nikita gazing at him. His expression darkened as he saw Nikita, and Nikita looked down at his reaction. Sean remained sitting on the bench as he said, "What's going on?"

"I just thought I'd see how you were," Nikita answered, looking up at Sean. "Wanted to make sure you're feeling better after last week. We were all scared for you," she added.

"I'm fine," he answered, shrugging. "Good to go. Thanks for asking," he added, sounding less indifferent.

"Good. Good," Nikita repeated, her voice lower the second time. "Look, Sean, I know the two of us haven't really talked much. I'm sorry about that. I also know that I haven't really helped to make you feel at home here. I want you to know I consider you as part of our family and as a part of the team."

"Nikita, it's fine," he said, even though what she was saying had been something bothering him lately. "I'm a big boy. Besides, I'm not the one you should be paying attention to." When Nikita furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, Sean clarified by adding, "Alex," and an understanding passed over her face. "You've been so busy obsessing over Michael that you were blind to her relapse and you've neglected her. She needs you more than she needs me and as much as I hate that, I also understand that. She knew you before anyone else here. You saved her life and gave her a new one. You've always been the one to support her. Used to." Sean stopped before he could add anything else, close to telling her everything that was on her mind.

"I -" Nikita was at a loss as to what to say. She should be mad at him for saying all this to her, but she couldn't be mad when he was right. She'd been focusing all her attention on Michael and had neglected Alex. This wasn't the first time someone had pointed out her obsessive attention on Michael and was wondering if she should start to let Michael handle things on his own. As much as you want to help someone, sometimes you can't. "You're right," she finally said, and Sean looked at her with surprise. "I should've seen everything with Alex. But the thing is Sean, she's a grown adult and her own person now. And things are different. I can't always look out for her. She has to look out for herself."

"I'm not saying you have to act like her mother," Sean said, a hint of irritation in his voice. "I'm just saying you should try to be there for her more often. You're the only one she really talks to, Nikita. You know more about her than I do," he went on, hurt in his voice. "She's only just opening up to me"

Nikita sighed heavily, about to go sit across from Sean when he got up. He was just going to walk past her, but he didn't want to be an ass so he gestured for her to walk with him. "I know it can't be easy. Not being able to help someone you love, it's hard," she said, and Sean glanced over at her to see her lost in thought. Presumably about Michael.

"Alex is complex, but you of all people should know that," he said, smirking slightly. "I love her, Nikita," he added, and Nikita looked over at him at hearing this and hearing the desperation in his voice. "More than she loves me, and I don't want to lose her. I've come close several times." He couldn't begin to explain how he felt, exactly how he felt. She was his anchor, that was the best way he could think of to describe everything. "I need her, and if that sounds selfish, then so be it. She made me realize how lonely I had been. When I'm with her - it's like... she pulls me back, you know?" he asked, and Nikita nodded.

"You're not going to lose her."

He sighed heavily, shaking his head at her. "You don't understand. Alex puts you first. I don't know if she's told you, but I've tried convincing her to leave this place. She won't because of you. She's loyal to you, and as long as you're here she'll be here. You already know how far she's willing to go for you. She took a bullet for you a month ago. I don't want to see her go any further than that, Nikita, and I don't think you do, either."

Sean stopped walking, turning to face Nikita. Her expression was hard to read, but he could see her concern for Alex etched on her face. "Well, I certainly do inspire loyalty," she said with wry amusement, but there was sadness in her eyes. "I don't want anyone to die for me, either, Sean. Trust me, that's the last thing I want. If Alex ever wants to leave Division, I fully support that idea. I love her and she more than anyone deserves to be happy. And you make her happy. I'll set aside time for Alex. I think the two of us need to catch up."

"Good, I'm glad. I know she'd like to spend time with you. She needs you. She needs to talk to you. You make her happy, too."

"Sean," Nikita said when he began to walk away. "She loves you, too. She may not be good at saying it, but she expresses love in her own way. She loves you, I've seen it. Never doubt that. Everyone loves differently." She knew Sean would always be good to Alex, so she didn't feel the need to tell Sean to be good to her. As far as she knew, Sean was the one who cared about Alex most nowadays and always had her back. Alex was lucky.

Sean gazed at Nikita for a moment and then smiled at her. "Thanks. For that and for the talk." He felt better, relieved he'd gotten a few of his frustrations off his chest and in the air for discussion. He hated holding things in, the more you kept to yourself the worse you felt and rotted from within.

Smiling, Nikita watched him walk away. She thought about going to find Michael, then decided against it. She thought about going to find Alex, too, but decided to wait for a little bit. There was a lot she wanted to say to Alex and needed time to organize her thoughts, process what all Sean had said to her. Some things had bothered her, the fact that Sean had pointed out that Alex was loyal to her to a fault and was, he assumed, willing to die for her. Was Alex willing to die for Nikita?

As she thought over all this, Sean ran into Alex. She smiled when she saw him, then the smile faltered when she saw the hesitation and slight wince of pain. "Hey, you all right?" Alex asked, placing her hand on his arm and gripping it softly.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "Just had a check-up. Cleared for duty again," he added, grinning. "I'm just still a bit sore, that's all."

Nodding, Alex let out a slight sigh of relief and smiled softly. "I've been looking for you."

"Oh?" he asked, smiling mischievously.

"I woke up in bed alone," she said, pouting slightly. "You should know I didn't like that," she added, playfully glaring at him.

"Sorry about that. I promise, that'll never happen again." Sean smiled, gazing lovingly at Alex. He loved seeing her smile, for once the happiness reaching her eyes. Seeing her smiling and happy always made him go weak, and when she returned his loving gazes like she was right now, he felt at peace.

"It better not," Alex replied. She sighed, contented and happy, feeling peaceful for the first time in a long time. Especially since taking over this place. It had taken her a while to realize Sean was her anchor. After he left, she'd fallen apart. As soon as he came back she had felt whole again. He was the only one who could bring her back. She needed him to bring her back whenever she felt herself falling into that abyss of misery and hurt.

Sliding her hand up his arm, Alex cupped the side of his face and caressed his jawline with her thumb as she leaned in and kissed him. Sean brought his hand up, placing it around her wrist and caressing her hand with his fingertips as he kissed her back. He hadn't ever thought it possible to be happy in Division, but he was. As long as he had Alex, he'd always be happy.


End file.
